Stressed Out? Here’s How to Take Back Control

We all deal with stress. Whether it’s work overload, relationship strain, parenting challenges, or just the relentless pace of modern life—it can feel like your nervous system is constantly in overdrive.

At What Works Psychology, we help people navigate stress with clarity, calm, and purpose. This isn’t about forcing yourself to stay positive or ignoring your limits. It’s about learning science-based strategies that work with your mind and body—not against them.

Why Stress Hits Hard

Stress is a natural part of life—but chronic stress? That’s a different story.

Your body’s stress response was designed for short bursts of danger (like escaping a wild animal). But in today’s world, you’re more likely to face inbox overload, financial worries, or emotional tension, all of which can activate the same “fight-or-flight” systems—without a clear off switch.

That’s when stress becomes draining. You feel tired but wired, reactive instead of responsive. Long-term, this can affect your sleep, memory, relationships, and health.

The good news? You can change how stress affects you.

What the Science Shows

Psychologist James Gross developed a helpful framework called the Process Model of Emotion Regulation. It outlines five points in the stress cycle where you can intervene—before, during, and after the stressful moment.

Here’s how you can apply it in real life.

1. Situation Selection: Stress-Proof Your Schedule

You can’t eliminate stress, but you can sometimes avoid the unnecessary kind.

Anticipate your limits. If back-to-back meetings leave you drained, block buffer time into your day.
Schedule harder tasks during your natural energy peaks (for many people, mid-morning or early afternoon).
Where possible, opt out of optional stressors—not every invite, task, or favour request deserves your “yes.”

Small decisions about what you say yes or no to can dramatically reduce your baseline stress.

2. Situation Modification: Tweak the Stressful Environment

You can’t always escape the situation, but you can change aspects of it to reduce its impact.

Struggling with noisy environments? Try noise-cancelling headphones, a change of scenery, or turning off notifications.
Having a tense conversation? Choose a quiet, private space and rehearse key points.
Dealing with clutter or chaos? A 10-minute tidy-up can reduce sensory load and increase your sense of control.

Think of this as setting yourself up to cope more easily.

3. Attentional Deployment: Redirect Your Focus

When stress is high, your brain tends to zoom in on threats, what-ifs, or worst-case scenarios. Learning to guide your attention can lower the volume on anxiety.

Try grounding your attention in the present moment—what you see, hear, or feel right now.
Use “focus anchors” to break spirals. That might be your breath, a task, a sound, or even a mantra.
Sometimes distraction is a strategy—taking a walk, calling a friend, or switching tasks briefly can give your system a reset.

The goal isn’t to ignore stress, but to break the grip of unhelpful rumination.

4. Cognitive Change: Rethink the Meaning of Stress

How you interpret a situation affects how stressed you feel. The same traffic jam can feel frustrating—or like a chance to pause.

Reframe stress as your body trying to help. That pounding heart? It’s preparing you to take action.
Challenge catastrophic thoughts: “What’s another way to look at this?” or “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”
Practice self-compassion. Stress often comes with self-judgment (“Why can’t I handle this?”). Instead, try: “This is hard. I’m doing my best.”

Your thoughts don’t have to be perfect. Just helpful enough to move forward.

5. Response Modulation: Soothe Your Body to Help Your Mind

When stress hits, physical regulation tools can help calm the storm.

Try box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
Do a body scan to release areas of tension (shoulders, jaw, hands).
Use movement as medicine—a stretch, a walk, or even a dance break can shift your state.
Create a soothing playlist, scent, or sensory ritual that signals calm to your nervous system.

Your body responds faster than your thoughts sometimes—start there when you feel flooded.

Stress Happens. But It Doesn’t Have to Take Over.

Stress is a signal—not a sign of failure. When you learn how to respond skillfully, stress becomes something you can manage, rather than something that manages you.

At What Works Psychology, we help people build stress regulation plans that actually work in the real world—not just in theory.

You don’t need to be endlessly resilient. You just need tools that fit your life.